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Piempers

Piempers

Sjoe, now that’s a word that I have not heard in a long time. You know, during the war of apartheid in the 80’s I heard this word as a teenager. If someone ever called you a piemper, it only meant one thing – a burning tyre around your neck. Okay now, for the born frees who don’t know what the hell I’m talking about… in the 80’s if you were ever caught speaking to the authorities, telling them what we were planning… and we find you… “Snitches get stitches…” Okay now you understand! Og, took you long enough!
Now to come back to my story. I was talking to a friend of mine who, like all of us… is going through a hell of a time financially. I said to him: “My broer, you can’t lose your house please… go and speak to your bank manager, maybe there’s a way to sort it out.”
He looks at me with complete disgust: “Mbuae Nevilla, ovee uahapavii. Is jy mal hoeka? I would never go back to that guy, he is a piemper sowaar.”
“Etsê, nou hoe nou broer, what do you mean with that?”
“Etse Neville, ken jy nie? It’s very clear, jy hang met te veel Boere… you don’t know what people are doing on the ground.”
“Ag, tsek tog… I had enough of that coconut allegations. Sê my net wat gaan aan!?”
“Neville, I don’t’ trust black bank managers.”
“Huuuhh… hoekom?”
“Aye, broer… these managers, as hulle gaan sjuala by die sjebeens mo’lokasie… they start talking your personal stories with other people. You have no idea how many stories I hear about myself from my own people. Se moer man. I keep everything white from now on forward. My doctor is white, my bank manager is white, my psychologist is white, even my dietician is white. Se moer. Ek vat nie meer kanse nie! At least these white people only take your money, but they know f*kol about my social circles. So Nevilla, let me keep it just like that. En ja sobiso Nevilla, you tell me who’s YOUR doctor?”
I could not answer him…
“Nevilla, who’s YOUR bank manager?
Dead silence…
“O en ja Nevilla… who’s YOUR broker who handles your insurance, life cover issues etc.?”
Eish… nou’s ek in my dinges, I could not respond. Made me sit there and have a long and hard think about it. Now just as we were busy wrapping up, Gert, a plaasboer with his own drought and Wamboe hating issues joined the conversation.
“Luister, julle twee k*ffertjies is nou besig om n klomp stront te praat, we know you blerrie people always ‘stend’ together. Sharrap asb! Ons Boere is die slegste klomp goed, ons support mekaar nooit nie, the only thing we have in common is daai donnerse Afrikaner bul wat op my plaas staan, ons skinder (another form of piemping) mekaar op daar voor Agra!”
I was so shocked to hear Gert say that I completely forgot what he called us!
With that said, it’s clear we all have the same issues here. In fact, it looks that you have piempers in any nation and tribe vakwetu…
So piempers, sharrap please!

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