As a father of four children, three boys and a girl I’m always confronted by my daily conduct as a parent in front of them.
I am well aware that whatever it is I do on a daily basis, my sons are watching me carefully, and my daughter might just end up one day with a man, who she thinks acts exactly like her father… well uhh… I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing though maara ons gaan maar aan!
I was talking to a friend of mine whose son is studying outside Namibia. It’s been a proud moment for him. The boy is based in Germany for the next three years studying Engineering . “Og Neville, I am so proud… he can finally go and live his dream… ek hoop hy kry sy droomvrou daar.”
I said wow, good luck broer, hope everything works out well for him. Just hope that the European lifestyle don’t suck our children in whole, they need to come back and ply what they learned there at home, Africa… Namibia! “Nee Neville, nou hoe bedoel jy dan nou my broer?”
No, what I mean is that we can just pray, whatever it is that we taught our kids here in Namibia as their parents, they can hopefully apply in their personal lives. “Huh Neville, nee nie my seun nie no ways , don’t worry! I raised my son properly, he doesn’t touch alcohol and he’s still a virgin at 20, ek het hom gevra, he told me he’s not doing any of those evil things.”
I said wow, I’m happy to hear that my brother. Now guys, at my age my level of criticism just waned. In my younger days vertel ek jou k*k sommer nou baie vinnig, I did not know my place. Like they say in Afrikaans. ‘n Toe bek is n heel bek!
“Nee wat Neville, maybe your children do these things, not mine sowaar . I am very very proud that my son is not indulging in these worldly things.”
Well mense, let me put it to you like this… my two eldest boys are 20 and 21 years of age respectively. At their age they won’t’ tell me nonsense, we talked about sex and safe sex many times. And I don’t sugar coat it when I talk to them about sex. I go straight to the worse scenario… HIV… I don’t warra warra here with pregnancy goede. If you have unprotected sex, you can get infected, you will be dead by 25… end of story!
I sat them down recently talking about alcohol. I asked them. “Okay gents, what do you guys drink? You know I have a glass of wine at home now and then. Are you guys using any alcohol? First one say: “Uhh umm uuh… ja daddy, okay daddy uhh you see umm… okay, I like a vodka daddy… uuh and occasionally a glass of red wine. Second one: “Uhh umm daddy, I also like a vodka with cranberry juice… or sometimes I drink a Hennessy.”
“Jiiir Hennessy! Hennessy? Where do you guys get the money to buy such expensive drinks!? “Daddy, ons kazak… we pool together and we buy.”
Well, I realized there and then fellow parents, let’s be careful in making holy cows out of our children, you might never know what wrong they do out there that they don’t share with us. Create an environment friendly enough for them to talk freely about these things.
In the meantime, let me “drink my water and mind my own business” when it comes to parenthood!