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Dirty Dancing

Dirty Dancing

Now, there is a Chinese saying that says: “Be careful what you wish for… it just might become true!”
I believe each and every family can determine their way of life or lifestyle. At the end of the day you will have to account for the decisions that you do make.
A few years back me and mevrou took the executive decision that she quits her job and become a stay at home mother. We just figured the kids will have a better quality of life in terms of what needs to be done for the family on a daily basis.
I made the mistake one day by coming home and asking her what she has done for the day… ek is goed op my moer gespeel daai dag. You never, ever question the amount of work a woman does who is at home… She seems completely wasted on a daily basis because her work never seems to stop. Ahem… ja… I obviously make sure that she is not tooooo tired… “Soms moet man nog takkie slat”… Don’t ask me what that means, its really none of your business!
When we made this joint decision I said to her: “Honey, so as from now on asseblief tog, houvas jy net die leer… Don’t shake it please… keep it steady while I climb the corporate , business ladder.”
She said: “Nee my man, don’t worry… solank neh, as long as my hair and nails are done I will be fine.”
I go out there like Fred Flintstone, go hunt and bring the meat home. Mevrou sees that everything is done at home down to the tee.
Now, in every woman’s life there comes a time they just become gatvol with routine. She came to me with the most intimidating k*k I’ve heard in a long time.
“Luister hier Neville (if she calls me by my name, dan’s da k*k). I’ve decided I want to become fitter. I want to join two classes, I want to do Kizomba dancing classes and go to the gym.”
I said: “Wait a minute… uh umm… dance, dance with who?” – “There’s this guy who gives Kizomba dancing classes.”
Now my people, julle wat Kizomba ken… we know how muscular those Tjimbundus from Angola are… how the hell do I allow my wife to be dancing so close to him every Tuesday and Thursday night… then she kamma comes home tired nog… tired , tired doing what!!??? Daai Tjimbundu se hele heupe! She‘s not leaving this house ever again!
“Ja maar my man (soften up tactic), can I then go to the gym… I already spoke to a personal trainer. He will train me everyday while you at work, no problem.”
Etse elai. Mati’koha… Jesu’tse! Wat, ‘n ander man moet jou wys hoe om te oefen nogal ti!?”
Gents, let’s have a get together next week Monday, I will post a meeting schedule on my wall. We need to discuss ways to keep our wives, girlfriends and sidechicks busy… so busy that they stop coming up with such k*k ideas!
Daai blerrie Patrick Swayze won’t have ‘The time of my life’ on my watch… I am so stressed now I need to call the lady who gives me my weekly massage. Gons!

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