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Baster Cocaine

I was in Walvis Bay last weekend for an event. I just love the humor of die Baainaars. I have a guy whose face I keep on spotting in the crowd whenever I am performing at the coast. After my show, I had a chance to speak to him. He told me he’s actually not from Die Baai, he’s from Rehoboth originally. Etse Nebel, jy kan darem n klomp k*k praat ek het sommer n hoofpyn van die lag.

I could not help but notice a bit of white powder on his shirt. Now guys, as you know, there’s been a lot of rumor about Walvis Bay and white powder  As the guy was speaking to me I found it extremely difficult to concentrate as to what he’s saying, my eyes fixated on the white powder/substance on his shirt.

I had no other option but to ask him straight up because he might just embarrass himself cause there were a few ministers, high officials and the cream of the crop from Walvis Bay.

I told him ‘sorry boeta, maak skoon jou hemp. Your shirt has powder on it’. He said, “Ag jirre aub sorry tog dat ek so mors, I suffer from chronic headaches, so I use Grand-Pa powder for the constant pain”. I said huh, rerig. ‘So you use Grand-Pa everyday huh’? Neville, jou dom donner… jy ken f*kol nie jy… ken jy nie Grand-Pa is called Baster Cocaine nie huh?

We can’t do without n ou grand-patjie elke dag. I said to him  ‘nee my broer, is it not maar just out of pure habit that you use it”? Nee Neville, hiri blerrie ding werk vir alles aub, so twee lekke van daai papier af and your day is sorted my broer. Sometimes when the sun is so hot dan kry ek n moerse kop pyn, one Baster cocaine shot dan’s ek reg my broer! Now this guy is about one of thousands of Namibians being hooked on Grand-Pa poeier. Like with any addiction, once it grips you it can hold you hostage for quite a long time. Trust me I know, I developed a dependency on Norflex , an anti-inflammatory pill which I used for a gym injury.

The codeine content in it, og jy voel nxa jong esses man. Float like a butterfly, niemand kan jou f*kol vertel nie.

But we keep on forgetting that over the counter medication kills people every day out there. Some of the long term side effects are: depression, anxiety, fatigue and yes.…. death!

Hou aan julle met daai grand-Pa kak sowaar, it eats your stomach from the inside, and damages your liver and kidneys as well.

Not long and you suffer from stomach cancer, a bleeding anus and shortly after that… your kids at the tender age of 10-15 stands at your grave side wondering, you looked so healthy what happened?

Meanwhile, the bank account of all these manufacturers smile all the way to the bank, seeing your death as collateral damage. Asseblief tog mense, go chew fresh garlic, ginger, drink rooibos tee… apple cider vinegar, hotnos poeier, kook dagga blare. Whatever, as long as you can wean yourself off this white powdered Lucifer of a painkiller called Baster cocaine.

Good luck, sterkte, matukondjo.

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