This is a letter directed at my savior, my anchor and my refuge. He’s got different names amongst the different tribes throughout Namibia. In Damara 7 he is “Jessup Kriestub”, In Wambolokasie he is Kalunga, In Khomasdal he is called “Oupa Liefie”, In Okakarara Muhona Jesu’ and in Gobabis he is called “Liewe Jesus”.
‘Dear Lord, I want to thank you once again that we could make it another week through this rather difficult period. Now you promised us that you will always be there for all of us whenever we need you because we are your children. Now Jessup, toxoba hūi tere tog neba. Things are not so easy lately. Muhona, motjiua tog turi mondjara mu January. Dis nie maklik nie Oupa Liefie, die kat slaap op die stoof nou al die laaste twee weke! Kalunga, you know that we have one more week to go before we are relieved from our sorrows of being broke mara as much as my children ask me questions, I believe I also have a right to ask you. Nou Oupa Liefie, maak man ʼn man. Jirre. Oops nee sorry bedoel nie so nie. Ek se maar net ʼn man is swak, gee n throughpass opi swakste tog. Moet tog nie my gat wil slat soos my pa in 1975 as mens net iets vra nie. My first question to you is, why did you decide to be born on the 25th December? Your birthday could be the reason why most of us are getting paid on this day. Did your Great Father in heaven not project that 2000 years from your birth we will be in ons se dinges in January with the decision you took back then huh? I am so broke, I collected about 50 Volkswagen badges in the car park at last week’s soccer game. I’m trying to sell them but no one has money, don’t ask me where I found those badges. If you know, don’t hold it against me. Your general planning when you left this earth is also a question that I need for you to answer please. Upon investigation as to your crucifixion I realize that Easter falls on 21 April 2019. Nou hoe het jy gedink my Pa? It’s a weekend of celebration for us as Christians. How you go and die 4 days before payday? We will not be able to travel anywhere since we would still be broke from this January blues we are suffering currently. If Bushiri can perform miracles in making short arms longer live on TV, surely you can perform certain miracles on my Bank Windhoek account. My Father, you have performed miracles on Facebook with this 10 year challenges that people are busy with. People who never had kapundas 10 years ago have them now. Surely you can do a 10 year challenge on my fridge Oupa Liefie. I am not happy with your date of birth, as it stands now. The business community won’t change their payroll cycle unless you send a memo from heaven that clearly states the date of the 25th of your birth must be changed to the 15th. Hakahana tog asb Dear Lord, we can’t have this situation in February.
Much love, your son.